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fear the spam

honestly, i don't get much spam anymore. i troll my own spam and junk filters, hoping to find something hilarious and blog-worthy. i don't get many unsolicited phone calls, either. turns out having a blog is about 400x better than being on the "do not call registry". about the only time i'm really assaulted by spam is in my regular perusals of the internet, where i am exposed to the phenomenon that is obvious spam. [note :: today i checked my "other inbox" in facebook. turns out that's the new spam filter. also, it's where you can find out what the internet thinks of you. amidst the "buy makeup now" advertisements that follow me everywhere, i also get the occasional "have you thought about buying a weapon of mass destruction?" pop-ups that make me realise that no one will ever know me as well as the internet.

but i have to say, i was a wee bit frightened when this popped up a few times in one day:


am i the only one who finds this threatening? something that can RETIRE ME in the next two years? i aim, eventually, to be able to retire. i do not wish to be retired. that sounds like the kind of thing that happens to mob snitches. more to the point. i am to be retired without "telling, selling or explaining anything"??? hey, remember that scene in godfather ii, where tom goes to discuss potential future scenarios with frank pentangeli?



that's what springs to mind when i hear that something is going to retire me without telling anyone.

you win, internet. i'm afraid of you.

Comments

Claire Lopez said…
Yikes! I'd be scared too ;)
Kate MacDonald said…
Indeed. I don't recall any marketing courses that said "your customers should be interested, but also vaguely threatened by your publicity".

as long as you're here, why not read more?

dreamspeak

ok, so i've been lax about posting here. i apologise. there are reasons. i don't know if they'ree good reasons, but they include:


i've had a lot of work to do, which is nice because i'm a freelancer and things tend to slow down in the summer, so the more work i get now, the less i have to worry about later [in theory].i started watching the handmaid's tale. i was a little hesitant because i didn't actually like the novel very much; i found it heavy-handed and predictable. the series relies on the novel for about 80% of its first season plot but i nevertheless find it spellbinding. where i felt that the novel beat readers with its politics, the series does a better job of connecting with the humanity in the midst of politics. i'm dithering on starting season two because i am a serial binger and once i know damn well that starting the second season will soon consign me to the horrors of having to wait a week between episodes. i don't know if i can han…

i agree, smedley [or, smokers totally saved our planet in 1983]

so this conversation happened [via text, so i have evidence and possibly so does the canadian government and the nsa].

dom and i were trying to settle our mutual nerves about tomorrow night's conversion screening, remembering that we've made a fine little film that people should see. which is just about exactly what dom had said when i responded thusly:

me :: i agree smedley. [pauses for a moment] did you get that here?

dom :: no?

me :: the aliens who were looking at earth and then decided it wasn't worth bothering with because people smoked even though it was bad for them?
come to think of it, that might mean that smokers prevented an alien invasion in the seventies.

dom :: what ?!?!?

me :: i've had wine and very little food. [pause] but the alien thing was real. [pause.] well, real on tv.

dom :: please eat something.

of course, i was wrong. the ad in question ran in 1983. this is the part where i would triumphantly embed the ad from youtube, except that the governmen…

making faces :: a lip for all seasons [summer edition]

this may seem like an odd time to think about summer, but not to think about coolness. it can be hard to wrap your head around the idea that summer is considered "cool" in colour analysis terms and, in my opinion, reads as the coolest of the cool, because everything in it is touched with the same chilly grey. winter may have the coldest colours, but its palette is so vivid that it distracts the eye. everything in summer is fresh and misty, like the morning sky before the sun breaks through. in my original post on the season, i compared it to monet's paintings of waterlilies at his garden in giverny and, if i do say so, i think that's an apt characterisation.

finding lip colours touched with summer grey and blue is, as you might expect, kind of tricky. the cosmetic world seems obsessed with bringing warmth, which doesn't recognise that some complexions don't support it well. [also, different complexions support different kinds of warmth, but that's another…