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you asked, i answered [with some trepidation]

most of the time, i know how people end up here. it's easy to make the link between a referring search term and a post here.

other times, i'm confused, but i'm more than happy to see that someone stumbled into my head space and thought to poke around a little bit.

still other times, i look at what people are searching for and want to hide under the bed for a while. then i remember that my bed doesn't have a raised platform underneath it and i'd have to reduce myself to liquid in order to hide under it. then i go google how to do that and wonder if the search will lead me back here.

nonetheless, i do see it as some opportunity to offer the people what they want, so i thought i would take a stab at answering some of the indirect questions and to pose a few myself.

let's start with some easy ones that turn up all the time.

angelina marcantognini :: i don't know what happened to her. i've actually tried to find her just to let her know that there are so very many people looking for her. there are people who come here every day looking for her. i don't know anything more than they do. if you don't know who she is, you can see my post about her here. you could also visit/ like the canada's worst driver facebook page. sorry, that's really all i can do...

i agree smedley :: yes! more people should search for this! because if enough people search for the ad that i wrote about here, then no one will have to go to youtube and find a whole bunch of videos on assisted suicide when they search for it.

donair cité :: read the review here, but note that they've since moved to 2070 st-denis, across the street from the original location. oh, and as of december 23rd, you'll be able to order alcohol with that. two great tastes that taste great together.

and of course, i get a lot of people who end up here on the endless quest for soccer-related man candy. i salute you and your remarkably specific search terms.

"sergio aguëro dimples" :: as long as we're talking about the ones on his face, you could check out this post. [if there are other dimples i should be finding for you, please let me know.] but i'll make it easy for you.

more good news! since he's currently leading the premier league in goals, he should have lots of reasons to keep smiling.

"alexis sanchez eye colour" :: light brown. after long and careful research on this subject, i'm going with light brown. i was thinking maybe hazel, but on close analysis, they don't have that green tinge that distinguishes hazel. just lovely, soft brown eyes that catch the light...

you can see more of him here

please let me know if you need me to look into this further. i aim to please. [also, belated happy birthday to alexis, who turned twenty-six yesterday. damn, i'm a lot older than twenty-six.]

from there,  we move on to slightly stranger territory...

"math cry" :: it does that to all of us sometimes. keep at it.

"man and woman polke 1978" :: at first, i thought maybe this was in relation to artist sigmar polke, about whom i've never written anything before this blog post. he's done some interesting things and the museum of modern art in new york had a retrospective of his work, but i couldn't find anything related to him and the other terms in the search. google helpfully suggested that i might be looking for the angie dickinson television show "police woman". i don't know much about that show. in fact, when i hear about it, this is the only thing that comes to mind:

i realise that this doesn't help you, but if it makes you feel any better, here's a video of a group called the polish kid polka band [made up of middle aged men, unless polish kids are just born that way] performing at the frankenmuth music festival

or i could just post more photos of alexis and sergio with their shirts off. that always cheers me up.

"guerlain poop" :: no. there is nothing you can do to make your waste product smell like shalimar. and you shouldn't try. but if you do try and it makes you constipated, don't attempt to solve the problem by pushing an eel up your rectum.

"jenny pelletier bernard me is wearing pink cult blush up her nose" :: she's doing it wrong.

"rogge heroin to bastak" :: i would like to state for the public record that i have no idea what this is about. none.

"pictures of kate macdonald sitting on facebook or instagram" :: i was thinking this was a really weird request, but then it occurred to me that there might be a typo and i decided i didn't want to look into it any further in case i was right.

please feel free to keep the off the wall requests coming.


as long as you're here, why not read more?


i keep seeing this ad for tictac candies:

am i the only one who finds the suicide bomber clown at the end a little unnerving? all the nice natural things like the bunny and the [extinct] woolly mammoth and the fruit get devoured by a trying-to-appear-nonthreatening-but-obviously-psychotic clown who then blows himself up. congratulations, tictac, i think this ad has landed you on about a dozen watch lists.

oh and by the way, showing me that your product will somehow cause my stomach to explode in a rainbow of wtf makes me believe that doing consuming tictacs would be a worse dietary decision than the time i ate two raw eggs and a half a bottle of hot sauce on a dare.

making faces :: soft touch

ah winter, how my lips hate you. it's too bad, really, because the rest of me likes winter, down to about -12 or so. but there's no arguing that i get dried out. nuxe rêve de miel is my super best friend at this time of year, even more so than otherwise. [i gave bite's agave lip mask a try only to find out i'm allergic to something in it.] but our [still] new apartment is somewhat drier than the old one [electric vs hot water heating], which meant that, for a long stretch, virtually every kind of lipstick was uncomfortable. the horror. [i wrote a post a while back about the formulas that are friendliest to chapped lips.]

faced with this dilemma, i decided to try something not exactly new, but [for me], out of the ordinary: being a gloss girl. now, i don't mind glosses. i buy them from time to time, and i used to buy more until i discovered that i just wasn't using them near enough to justify the continued purchases. my issues with glosses are that they feather…

making faces :: a lip for all seasons [summer edition]

this may seem like an odd time to think about summer, but not to think about coolness. it can be hard to wrap your head around the idea that summer is considered "cool" in colour analysis terms and, in my opinion, reads as the coolest of the cool, because everything in it is touched with the same chilly grey. winter may have the coldest colours, but its palette is so vivid that it distracts the eye. everything in summer is fresh and misty, like the morning sky before the sun breaks through. in my original post on the season, i compared it to monet's paintings of waterlilies at his garden in giverny and, if i do say so, i think that's an apt characterisation.

finding lip colours touched with summer grey and blue is, as you might expect, kind of tricky. the cosmetic world seems obsessed with bringing warmth, which doesn't recognise that some complexions don't support it well. [also, different complexions support different kinds of warmth, but that's another…